Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Sir, Do You Know Why I Stopped you?

I know we all hate to hear these words cause it is usually followed by a speeding ticket. But what if we could give/get tickets for other running related violations?  Runners-world magazine has come up with running violations and fines you would pay. So be prepared to look at yourself honestly and tell me, how much would you owe?


I know it is hard to read, so let me break it down for you. The established penalties are as follows:

  1. Stopping in front of other runners without warning                 $20.00
  2. Spitting/Clearing nose with reckless disregard                        $15.00
  3. Darting across road without first looking for traffic                 $15.00
  4. Tossing empty gel packet/ chew wrapper etc to ground         $40.00
  5. Running shirtless when you plainly should not be                    $15.00
  6. Audible profanity within 30 feet of school or church               $5.00
  7. Lunging through crowded race to grab a cup of water           $10.00
  8. Failure to acknowledge other runners greetings                      $5.00
  9. Possession of a fuel belt in a 5K                                            $100.00
  10. Public farting                                                                         $5.00

Obviously I should get a fine for poor formatting on this post.

So what do I owe?

I confess that I have cut people off around a corner, and not always intentional, so $20.
I am very careful about spitting or shooting a snot rocket, and I hate when I am in that line of fire. The fine is really cheap in my book, I say let the fine fit the crime and up that amount, but I owe nothing here.
I have one time tried to cross a street and didn't see the car coming behind me, but I do not wear iPod anymore so I am good.
I am guilty of  #4. Sorry, there's another $40.
#5? please, they should pay me!
I am good on 6 and 7 but guilty of 8. Why do I HAVE to say hi??? $5
Not a problem with 9 and guilty of 10, but I blamed the other guy. $5

So all in all, I owe $70. How much do you owe??




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4 comments:

  1. TriMOEngrAugust 21, 2012 at 8:37 PM

    Hmm...schools and churches around here tend to be on HILLS so I need to know if the profanity counts if no children are present and if the fine is on a "per occurrence" or "sum total" basis. Same for farting...if no one smells it, is it an offense? Per occurrence or one fine for all? Generally I don't think I'm too rude of a runner and don't do most of these things.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ONEHOURIRONMANAugust 22, 2012 at 7:14 AM

    In WTC IM races number 4 gets you no fine but disqualified... Imagine spending thousands of dollars to get DQd for dropping an empty GU pack

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    Replies
    1. JfordAugust 22, 2012 at 8:44 AM

      So instead of dropping $40 for the fine, we are talking more like $500! That would be tough!

      Delete
  3. misszippyAugust 23, 2012 at 9:46 AM

    I hadn't seen this one before! Love it. And the fuel belt in a 5k takes the cake, I think. Ok, I've probably done number 10, but I'm pretty sure I was alone, so that doesn't count, right?

    And loved your comment on my post today about the old ladies w/ the noodles. Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete

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