Monday, March 26, 2012

That's What She Said!

Why aren;t you faster? That was the question posed to me by my bride on Friday night. That was the question that punched me in the gut and got me all kinds of defensive!

Here is how it came about. My wife was reading the RoadRunner magazine. It is the monthly newsletter/magazine that come out from the Memphis Runner's Track Club that I am a member of. In the magazine was an article about a woman that ran her first marathon in 4 hours and something. My first marathon was 6 hours and something. SO that led to an awkward conversation, that started out with this conversation:

Wife: I don't understand this..
Me: huh?
Wife: This woman did her very first marathon in 4 hours something...
Me: OK?
Wife: Well, I mean, it was her first race and you have been running for a long time..
Me: What are you saying?
Wife: Well..
Me: What?
Wife: It's just...
Me: Say it...  What aren't I faster?
Wife: Well, yeah?

At least that is the way I remember the conversation. My thought reaction was to get defensive. 'Did she do a half Ironman 45 days before the marathon? Does she have a job? Does she have a husband and kids? Is she 40 years old??? All valid questions in my mind. And the answers didn't matter to me really, because no answer was going to unhurt my feelings.

Now, I know my wife did not mean to upset me or make me feel bad about my times or in any way be anything but supportive of me, but it is how I took it. I know she had some of the same frustrations with my marathon time as I did. My wife is my biggest supporter and this is not a talk bad about my wife type of post, but it still bugged me. All I could think about was, "Why am I not faster?" Further reading the article talked about how this lady had run over 900 miles that year in preparation for the marathon. Running has always been my biggest obstacle in triathlons, and I have been working on it, and seeing some of that hard work pay off already.

So the rest of the night, I walked around reminding her of the headway I have made this year. I gently reminded her of how I have 4 PR's alone this year. I gently reminded her that I was 5th on a 5K and that I am a Master's Champion at that race!  Master's Champion!!!

So Saturday morning, my plan called for a 16.9 Mile ride and a 2.86 mile run. Let me say I had plenty of fuel for this ride/run. I got up Saturday morning and jumped on my bike and rode on the trainer hard. My legs were burning, but it didn't matter. After 17 miles, I jumped off my bike, grabbed my shoes and hit the road. I ran 3 miles at an 8:11 pace. It hurt, my legs were heavy, but it was very satisfying to hold a decent pace. My PR 5k pace was 7:50, so I was thrilled.

So I took an honest question and used it as fuel for my next workout. So I need to thank my wife for giving me something to think on and ask myself.


  1. Ha! If that hurt your feelings, you need to be extra glad you didn't marry someone like me ;)

    And people who run that fast basically commit their lives to running and training. The reason you aren't that fast is because you actually take the time to do pesky things like spend time with your wife and family that you could be using to run!

    I've been running and I am still stuck at a 17 minute mile- does that make you feel better?

    1. I do have to remember that triathlons and such are my hobby, and I do like my family so if I am slower than I liked, but I have a solid family base, that is a fair trade off.

  2. I sometimes think the same thing about myself, then I remember that I am mostly just running because I love it. and I'm not putting in enough track workouts/tempo runs to get past the pace I'm stuck at.

    1. That was one thing I learned after I looked at 2011 numbers. I had to start building a better base to get faster, and I have 4 PR's this year already, so I am on the right track!

  3. That sucks - from a girls/wife perspective I bet she felt horrible as soon as the words left her lips. I sounds to me like it was just a thought she had that popped out - happens to me all the time.

    On the other hand I think you've got a lot to be proud of and I am happy you turned your hurt feelings into run/ride motivation! AWESOME

    1. I have no doubt in my mind that she did not mean it the way I took it, but I still like to remind of my smokin fast times this year! LOL

  4. Just be careful trying to get faster. I set out to do just that and bumped the volume and intensity a little too much and am sitting here with ice on my knees as I type this and haven't run for a week.

    Nice brick BTW!

    1. The dreaded brick workout is my nemisis. Maybe I should find something to hurt my feelings each brick workout! Sorry the knee is giving you trouble, and hope it heals quickly!

  5. My husband has had a few moments where his mildly hurtful comments have fueled me onward and a few where they just pissed me off. He is crazy proud of how far I've come, but once in a while seems to think I am not pushing myself hard enough or I would improve even more. I don't have patience for this, but I try to remember that, in general, he means well.


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