On The Count of Three…

This post has absolutely nothing to do with training or triathlons, but please keep reading. I have a lot of roles that I gladly accept. I have the role of husband. I have the role as an investigator at work. I have the role of triathlete when I train. I have the role of money manager at home, and there are many, many other roles I could list. Son, brother, uncle, friend just a few the roles I accept to name a few. Now each of these roles has different responsibilities associated with them. Some of the responsibilities are big, some are small. They range from chief bug killer, to lawn maintenance, bill payer, spiritual leader, noise checker outer, weatherman, head of security and discipline, clock re-setter, chauffer, head griller and master of the remote. So I pretty much gladly accept all of these roles without hesitation.

The most difficult role I have I think is the Dad role. I have three boys, ages 2, 10 and 11. Yeah, there is a huge responsibility involved in this role of dad, and overall it is a really cool experience for me, but there is one piece of it I can't stand. I can handle the discipline part. I can handle the part of teaching them to be a man, and I can also handle the sex questions (I have one verging on being a teenager soon). So I bet you are asking yourself what part of being a dad I loathe….

Pulling teeth.

Ughhhh. Please ask me to do anything else except for pulling a loose tooth. And guess what happened today? My middle boy had a tooth that was just hanging. You could see it flopping around, yet still attached somehow. It was so gross. It was starting to effect or affect (I am not sure which) him eating, so it had to come out. I suggested that he go to the bathroom and pull it out, really hoping he would get it out so I did not have too. But after about a minute, no more like 10 seconds, I heard "Dad, I need some help". Normally, those are nice words to hear, it's nice when the kiddos need you, but this time I sure would have liked to hear him call on mom. But he didn't, he called for me, and I was going to be there.

So I pull my shorts up past my belly button, put on my black socks and sandals (getting my Dad groove on) and head into the bathroom. He shows me how the tooth is just flopping around. Gross! So I do what any Dad would do. I tell him I will go get him a paper towel so he can grab it and it won't be so slippery. I give it to him and tell him to let me know how it goes. (I know this is pathetic, but it is really gross for me) So about a minute, no more like 10 seconds later, I heard, "Dad, I need your help". Sigh. I notch up the belt one more time and head back into the bathroom. This time I decide I have to get in there and pull that sucker out.

I use the paper towel and get as good a grip as I can and I start to pull and he immediately makes a groaning sound. He says it hurts when I pull on it, so much for this being a quick extraction. Then I see the blood. I don't like blood. At all. I don't know if he was vibing off me or not, but every tug, he would groan. So plan B.

Plan B involved crush ice on the area to hopefully numb it so I could pull it. Does that work you might ask? I have no idea. In theory, it sounds good, but can you really numb a dead tooth?? Anyways, after a few unsuccessful attempts by my son, I knew it was time to just do it. I was determined.

So I told Jared, this is the time. All the ice is gone and we have a fresh paper towel to get that slippery sucker out of there. So I basically have my son in a headlock with my left arm, and my right hand is in his mouth, fingers wrapped around this tooth, and I am pulling straight down. His little hands go on to my am that is around his head, but I keep the pressure on until finally, that sucker comes out. High fives all around the house!

Normally, I would pretty much be out of the tooth pulling business, but I have a 2 year old, and I know I will be pulling some of his teeth. You would think that after two other boys, I'd be a pro, but I am not. I do it though. I do it showing no fear to my children (I think) because that is one of the roles I have. Master Tooth Extractor.