Running: It's a bunch of conversations in my head!

So I have been running on and off again, mostly off. I think my tally includes a whooping 8.41 miles in June, a major improvement in July to 20.59 miles and a total of 6.33 miles in August. It's not that I don't like to run anymore, cause I really do. It's just different now.

But why?

Well, I am about 25 lbs heavier than when I was training for triathlons and really running. I contribute the gain to June type totals and not running and to hitting the gym. I have gained a lot of muscle over the past months, it's not like I am a blob or anything, but it's tougher at 210 lbs vs. 185 lbs. This is not an indictment about my weight, honestly I am fine with my body, but I can tell it is just different.

I also have lost some of that mental toughness I had. Thats hard to admit actually, but I can decide to shift into walking status a lot easier than before. I always thought I would be ok being a "completer" rather than a "competitor" but I'm not. And it's actually weird because I have it grand plans of running, will go as far as to make plans for the run, but when it comes time to actually run, I phase myself out of it.

One cool thing is that my wife and my oldest boy have really gotten into running and recently completed their first half marathons (send sponsorships here!  Inside joke!) I really did enjoy encouraging them and seeing them reach their goals!  My oldest boy has signed up for his first marathon in December! I have even toyed with the idea of running the half with him, and while I love the idea, I don't love the idea of training.

This morning I went to Shelby Farms here in Memphis and ran the Chickasaw Trail. Shelby Farms is a great place to go on a Saturday morning and I always realize that when I am there and wonder why we don't use it more often! Anyways, the Chickasaw trail is approximately 3 miles through the park, and is usually packed with people running, walking pets or riding bikes. I was running with my wife, or at least I started running with her (she is much better running shape than I am) and she ran on up ahead of me. I knew this was going to happen and we planned to meet up later.

As I was running, I constantly had these conversations in my head about not stopping! Many times it was mainly convincing myself to continue till I got to that tree, or to that patch of shade. And then the conversations then go to starting running again, and then they go to what does and what doesn't hurt!

I don't really know the point of this rant other than I doubt I am the only one that does this. I am sure we all have those random conversations to get us through our runs. One day, I am sure I will just run and listen to my music, but until then, I will keep talking to myself!